Miriam is joined in this episode by Tatiana from Washington DC. Tatiana is currently a food photographer whilst working on a variety of business ideas including a simple syrup product.
They met on clubhouse talking about their childhood and today they discuss Tatiana’s upbringing, her difficulties in life as an adult and the culture in Cameroon.
- Tatiana was born in Cameroon and lived there until she was 9. She then moved with her aunt to both Italy and Spain until eventually settling in France. As an adult, she then decided to move to the USA.
- Tatiana always felt safe growing up but she suffered a lot of disruption and had a very strict upbringing. She spent most of her childhood adapting and adjusting and meeting the expectations of her family rather than developing herself as a child.
- When living in France it dawned on Tatiana that the people that raised her until she was 9 were no longer there. Her aunt wasn’t very supportive because of how culturally she dealt with these types of situations, she felt very alone.
- When Tatiana’s aunt had her own children, Tatiana became almost a second parent to her cousins and she resented this. Tatiana recognises that she wanted for nothing as a child physically and that her aunt loved her. But as an adult she feels like her aunt and family were over-protective and this led to her being ill-equipped to deal with the world as an adult.
- Because Tatiana did not understand why her family made the decisions they did about her upbringing she made her own mind up. This meant she harboured a lot of anger which was quite destructive to areas of her life, she didn’t feel like she could be completely open with people, she was reserved and didn’t know how to communicate effectively in relationships. The consequences of her growing up quickly, having responsibilities early and not being able to be a child or teenager meant she didn’t learn all the things she should have done, especially in regards to communication, emotions and relationships.
- Tatiana and Miriam agree that a lot of the cultural norms in African culture come from the fact that they are from countries where historically you are having to always be in survival mode. It’s a day-to-day mentality and it’s a difficult a long process to try and change this.
“When you’re younger you move around and then when you are older you start moving yourself around”
“I learned and matured quickly, I matured so fast I became inadequate as an adult”
“You can’t tell a child to grow up then tell them to act like a child…which one is it?”
“It shows that you have a mind of your own and that you know who you are”
“I carried anger for so long it was paralysing”
“I didn’t know what truly loving someone looked like because I didn’t learn”
ABOUT THE GUEST
Hi! My name is Tatiana, and I’m a proud dog mom, Assistant Director turned student. I enjoy long walks on the beach, the smell red roses and contemplating the sky for hours. Just kidding! Not a fan of any of those things. Seriously though, my friends describe me as easy going, fun to be around and cook extraordinaire. If you don’t believe me check my Instagram @latelierdc. Cheers!!
ABOUT THE HOST
Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.
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