The Father Wound

In this episode, Miriam talks about the father wound. She explores her own relationship with her father and discusses the impact of his abandonment on her forming and building relationships as an adult.


  • Miriam’s mother married her father very young. Her father was a prince and had multiple wives. Her mother had grown up knowing him as a visitor of her grandad but he then asked to marry her.
  • She moved in with him to a compound where his main house was and where all his wives and children lived. There was a lot of tension due to favouritism, it was not a good situation to be living in and created a lot of jealously, insecurity and negativity. This is how Miriam was brought into the world.
  • Her mother ran away from this situation and Miriam and her sister were brought up by family for the beginning of their lives.
  • For a lot of Miriam’s life she had a fascination with her father. She would see him in men that she walked by on the street and would look for him everywhere she went. She decided she needed to try and make contact with her father and and reconcile her feelings about him.
  •  She got into contact with her father via letter and they communicated for one year before her father painfully died suddenly. She never got the opportunity to go to Cameroon to meet him and talk with him in person as an adult, this still hurts her but she has now managed to start to heal this father wound.
  • When we recognise patterns we gain awareness, this is how we can start to heal our trauma and forgive others and ourselves for what has happened to us in the past. 




One man, many children, one husband, many wives”


“I’m stretching my arms and there is no one to take them as a father figure”


“I just kept looking for my father everywhere I go”


“Is my father wound gone? I don’t think so but I’m not so bothered by it”



Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer.  After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma.  Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.  


Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/



CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku

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